You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Pout...

I remember being terrified of Santa! 

To make matters worse, there was a PINK PIG we "got" (had) to ride before the ritual was complete.

It was downright scary.

And, thus I was baptized into our family's traditions complete with Atlanta's pink Christmas princess.

After I survived Santa trauma I could sit back and relax until the big day. And if you'd really like to know the truth, EVERYTHING about Christmas day was magical.

I could hardly sleep the night before.

All of our family's disagreements, all our arguments, any grievance we had with each other seemed to disappear on this one special, marvelous explosion of gift wrap and ribbon.

It wasn't until way later in my life that Christmas delivered its own kind of pain.

The magic evaporated like the frost on our fence post the year Tom called to tell me that Melissa's baby had died.

He stayed home that year to preach the Christmas Day sermon (because Christmas fell on Sunday). And just after we'd celebrated Santa's faithful bounty he called.

"Hey Leighann, how was this morning?" Tom asked when I answered the phone.

"Fine, how are you?" I could hear the sadness in his voice even before he put it into words.

"I'm good. But Melissa had her baby." He paused like he loves to do--maybe because what he had to say next was going to be hard to hear.

"She did, that's too early..." I tentatively responded.

"Yeah, they held him for 45 minutes and he died." Tom's voice cracked like only a pastor's can when he's invited into the deep dark places with his beloved parishioners. 

"On Christmas Day?!!!!" These words came out of my mouth before I could stop them! 

It's a much longer story than this, and I tell the whole thing in my book A Woman's Guide to Hearing God's Voice. If you've EVER been disturbed by circumstances in your life you will love this book and this story! 

But for the sake of this blog post, I tell this part here to make the point that Christmas isn't always a magical time.

Sometimes it's a nightmarish time.

Sometimes Christmas triggers memories that would be great if it hadn't been for the tragedy that cut the life of a loved one short; or severed a relationship that was once so rich.

I've had a few Christmases where we prayed to make our way through the "first one without ...."

And I've had others that felt terribly empty because "that one" chose not to be there--and perhaps never would come again.

What are we to do when we can't watch out?

What are we to do when we have to pout?

And how can we help others who might be pouting?

Here are 5 ways you can make it (or help others make it) through the holidays.

1. Just Don't Do it! Pay attention to how much you're spending and why you're spending it. Resist the urge to substitute STUFF for making real connections with the people you love. 

Instead of buying a whole lot of plastic that's going to be stuffed in a black sack and delivered to Goodwill by June, consider how you might give gifts that are meaningful.

My mother is working through her stuff, and gifts have become incredibly meaningful as she's passed on to us "treasures" that money simply cannot buy!

She gave my granddaughter (her great-granddaughter) her little cupboard that was made by her uncle and given to her for Christmas when she was 4! That was 75 years ago!

River loves it! 

Find a family who can't afford Christmas gifts. Adopt them and purchase gifts for them. Play your own version of Christmas Ding Dong Ditch--where you sneak up to their door, deliver their bag of gifts, ring the doorbell and run like mad to get out of there before they open the door. 

2. Enjoy it! Concentrate on that bite of pie. 

Savor it.

Sip the cider and feel it go down your throat.

Take a walk after dark and let your eyes feast on the light show your neighbors went to all that trouble to create for you. 

If you can get your hands on a young child, give their parents a night out ,and soak in the wonder of Christmas through their beautiful eyes. 

3. Share it! Many people have to work on Christmas Day just as if it were any other ordinary day. Be mindful of these people by sharing treats with them, or by inviting them to an open house at your place.

My friend Lauren told me that her grandmother hosted an open house for first responders on Christmas Day. Policemen, firemen, emt's and paramedics were invited to drop by her place at any time throughout Christmas Day. 

Instead of having to completely sacrifice Christmas as they served the community, they were able to pop in and enjoy a snippet of Grandma's Christmas while they were working.

Do you know someone who will be spending Christmas alone? Invite them to join you! 

4. Recognize it. Don't pretend that a few Hallmark movies and gingerbread cookies can fix everything.

Let yourself be sad if you are sad.

Realize that, most likely, your sadness is reasonable.

Acknowledge how you really feel. 

Years ago I wrote a study on prayer. It was called Oh God, Please! The Heart Cry of a Burdened Soul. In that study we camped out in Psalm 143 where David was brutally honest about his desperate and painful situation.

One of the lessons was, "Face and State the Reality of Your Situation." 

Too often we don't give ourselves permission to acknowledge our disappointment, sadness and pain.

Don't tell Santa this, but you can cry, and you can pout.

God would much rather you come to Him honest and tear-stained than He would that you come pretending.

Be the kind of person who gives others the space to be honest and sad if they're sad. Make yourself available, reach out, don't take no for an answer. And when they finally get brave enough to get together with you, listen, listen, listen.

5. Say it! Social media offers us a tremendous opportunity to bring tidings of comfort and joy.

Take every opportunity to share them! 

Text tidings of comfort and joy.

Instagram tidings of comfort and joy.

Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat, YouTube, WeChat, Tumblr, Twitter, Parler (you get the idea)...

Tidings of Comfort and Joy! 

Goodness knows there's quite enough tidings of discomfort and pain being broadcast!

If the shepherd's had the platforms we have today the whole world would've been in Bethlehem by dawn on the first Christmas day!

The upside of the downside of Christmas is that the very things that cause so many people to be so sad opens a world of possibility where ministry opportunities abound.

And even if none of these suggestions have lifted your spirits, you can take comfort in knowing nobody's gonna make you ride the PINK PIG!